Five Regrets of the Dying By Bronnie Ware Platinum Quality Author

Five Regrets of the Dying By Bronnie Ware Platinum Quality Author

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.


People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventuallyacceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:




1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friendsuntil their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.  But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content.  When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

i'm scared.

it hurts.
it hurts so badly. 
it hurts so freaking much that i doubt u'll understand.


i could really use a wish right now.
if only the star would work and has real powers.

did u take it?
or, did u treasure it?
it hurts. 

its time to start afresh.

the one who can, doesn't want to.
the one who wants, very sadly, cannot.
can i have a hybrid of e two?
most preferably, wants and can.

i think im just not fated to have it.

why cant things be simple. 
i forgot that the simplest things are often, or always, the hardest to achieve.

it does get unbearable sometimes.

perhaps love

Perhaps Love - John Denver

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm. It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm. And in those times of trouble, when you are most alone. The memory of love will bring you home.

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door. It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more. And even if you lose yourself and don’t know what to do. The memory of love will see you through.

Oh love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel. For some a way of living, for some a way to feel. And some say love is holding on and some say letting go. And some say love is everything, some say they don’t know.

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain. Like a fire when it’s cold outside, thunder when it rains. If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true. My memories of love will be of you.

And some say love is holding on and some say letting go. And some say love is everything, some say they don’t know.

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain. Like a fire when it’s cold outside, thunder when it rains. If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true. My memories of love will be of you.

assuming we are x distance apart
if you take a small step forward
and i take a small step forward
and we just continue to take small steps forward,
will we meet some day?

sometimes it weighs on so hard i can't breathe.
need to stop thinking.

evonne feels like giving up
just not cut out for anything

school is starting... tml
feel so unprepared n unready
really need to stay focused!

a stroke of inspiration

its not the money

its not the car.

neither is it the face, the body, 

or the age.

its about the time spent together

and the way you make me feel. 

Form may be cool,

but eventually substance rules.

如果我變成回憶

如果我變成回憶

been looking through some of the pics taken while in Laos

i miss the village

i miss the simple and peaceful life 

i miss the serenity of the mountains 

i miss the kids' heartful laughter

i miss seeing the children run around happily on our court

i miss Shu-Five, i wonder how she is doing, 

does she still remember me? 

would she remember me? 

its only been 11 days since we've been back

which works out to around 1.5 weeks 

and im already polluted with the city illness

i forgot to be simple

i forgot to be appreciative 

i got caught up in the city lifestyle, once again 

i got greedy 

:( 

if i ever turned into a memory,

let the memories be happy ones,

so that when they got let out occasionally one day, 

i hope it brings a smile to your face

:)

off to laos!

off to Laos in another 2 more hrs.
haven't been blogging recently, or rather,
since exams ended.

need to find time to write abt
my 21st birthday,
working at SAe,
the event itself etc.

before i leave,
i wish upon a wishing star, 

that e trip would go well,
everyone would enjoy themselves,
and OVE'10 would be fun and memorable!



and when im back,
i can start slacking, resting,
and hope things can go the way i hope they would be!
=)

im so bored.
there's nothing much to do at work here.
everyone's so busy at work,
only im like having nth much to do.
don't feel like fulfilling certain obligations of mine also
been feeling so ultra sian.
feel like taking a break but cannot.
50% break
50% work.
equals to no break.
lost interest in xxx, xxx, xxx
everything that i used to be so passionate and enthusiastic about.

updated 21st wish list!

what i want for my 21st bdae:

- MONEY (angbaos hahahahhaha!)
- a leather backpack
- Charles and Keith shoes (there's this pair that i really really like but then i cant find e picture of it online!)
- a pair of Havainnas slippers
- cashcard (so that i can just print notes and photocopy without worrying about having insufficient cash)
- a 3-in-1 printer? so that i can just print my reports n notes at home comfortably and i need not rush to print them in FAL
- a nice nice demure and cool ladies watch?
- a package for manicure? im lazy!! hahaha
- err some nice corporate dresses that i can wear for work, presentations, and out?
- this nice nice bag: (http://missypixie.livejournal.com/76023.html#cutid1) called TING. not sure if its too big for me though
- or, simply any bag that looks nice and small, but actually can put alot of things inside =P 
- IKEA shopping vouchers (feel like revamping my room)
- a cap 
- a cordless (house) phone
- this soft toy from a shop in ION ORCHARD (its located between kikki stationery and havainnas, cant rem the name! but the soft toy-cum-cushion got distorted eyes where the eyeballs is 1 up n 1 down >.< )
- improvement in my gpa
- CAR
- sponsorship for manual driving lessons

gone....

horrendous.
utterly horrendous.
my last presentation was so horrendous that its beyond redemption.
i can barely stand to look at my own video.
cringing all e time omfg.
i had no idea how e class and Prof Ho sat through those 5 min.
everything single thing that could be wrong i did it.
unprepared.
rushed.
last minute.
unrehearsed.
every possible negative aspect
u name it, i got it.
worked so hard to maintain everything.
only to screw up the very last task on the very last day.
blardy disappointed with myself.
i can do better than this even if its an impromptu.
instead of improving on my usual standards,
it dropped exponentially until i don't know where.
i think it went so deep down,
that even the iceland volcano took it for lava and spew it out in digust.
what more to say when i spent 1 day preparing for it.
everyone else was so well rehearsed and prepared.
and being late definitely did not help.

i think i must have been the worst presenter in ab214 final presentation history. 

i survived through 1 meeting, 2 reports deadline, and 1 test the week before.
having 1 quiz, 2 reports deadline, and 3 presentations within a span of 3 days is no excuse for the lack of preparation.
you know you could have done better.
How is it possible that a prepared presentation is so much much worst than an impromptu presentation?!!  
all previous efforts were to nault. 
there goes my grade. 
there goes my double degree. 

i did a personality test on this website - http://world.doubutsu-uranai.com/
and this was the results:

You are Red Monkey, whose simple and natural personality is easily understood by those around you.
You can make others feel safe.
You will take on any favor asked, and have a strong volunteer spirits.
Even if you get angry, you don't hold that against people for long time.
You are simple forthright person.
You are a person with sensitivity.
If you use this sensitivity at work and in hobbies, you will achieve great results.
You should learn a lot while young, and use that experience to help the society in the future.
You also possess great talent in carrying out matters and handling it efficiently.
You are a very active person.
You are smart and calculating.
You can be rather short tempered, and will not tell your true feelings.
This may make you bit lonely, so don't forget to have a broad mind.
You are a quick learner, so you will be favored by your boss.
But if there isn't a person who can set an example, you can not carry out work efficiently.
You may be suited to stay as number two than to stand at the top.
You are independent and keeps your own pace.
So it may be better to keep away from the impossible.
Because you are a popular person, you will be asked out by many people.
Try and turn down offers nicely, or you may disturb the living pace and your own personal relationships.
Your marriage fortune is very good.
You will do great as a housewife and also as the person committed to do good for the society.

I AM COMMITTED TO DO GOOD FOR SOCIETY!!! 
but i don't think im a popular person? lol.
just look at the response to my party invitation >.<  

my 21st wishlist

what i want for my 21st bdae:

- MONEY (angbaos hahahahhaha!)
- a leather backpack
- Charles and Keith shoes (there's this pair that i really really like but then i cant find e picture of it online!)
- a pair of Havainnas slippers
- cashcard (so that i can just print notes and photocopy without worrying about having insufficient cash)
- a 3-in-1 printer? so that i can just print my reports n notes at home comfortably and i need not rush to print them in FAL
- a nice nice demure and cool ladies watch?
- a package for manicure? im lazy!! hahaha
- err some nice corporate dresses that i can wear for work, presentations, and out?
- this nice nice bag: (http://missypixie.livejournal.com/76023.html#cutid1) called TING. not sure if its too big for me though >.<
- improvement in my gpa

errr cant think of anything else.
i really really want a CAR.
and that's totally ootw.
=(
oh oh!
maybe some sponsorship for driving lessons
i prefer to learn manual =D

on another note.
its 14 days left to my very first paper.
and i have not started studying a single damn thing.
totally drowning in projects, reports, presentations, quizzes
all the way until...
9 days before the very first paper.
i know im screwed.
i hope my degree doesnt fly away.

u know how pathetic your life is,
when you need to resort to reading FML for entertainment
and to feel better. 

kudos to nbs

despite our incessant complaints about horrible nbs
with the terrible planning of project deadlines and quizzes
where tutors seem to enjoy putting them together
to let us have a 'stress peak' period
i have to say,
nbs is really training us well for the workplace
rushing project reports that forces u to utilise ur brain
after not sleeping for a couple of nights 
while suffering in a strong air-conditioned room overnight
and with ur body's never-ending calls for u to let it rest
plus working with people
learning how to handle emotions
manage stress levels
and control your temper 
at a time where everyone's stress levels are running high
and where angstyness run amok
perhaps this is a true reflection of what accountancy students' future will be like

disclaimer: this is not 100% of my experience. its the sum of what i've been hearing for the past week.

'excuse me, i'm lost. can u help me find my way back?'

excuse me, i lost my way.
can u help me?

its my fault

i know i have friends who care for me a lot
family who love me a lot 
and a *** who also care alot about me
so to all these people 
i apologise
for what has been happening 
i'm sorry
i'm deeply sorry 
its all my fault
for not being how to handle my own emotions
for not being mature enough to handle my own matters
its all my fault
my incapability and childishness started all this in e first place
im sorry 
so can we all press the restart button
forget everything
and start afresh

i promise i won't do it again.

can someone give me some directions?

the outsider

w

why do i feel like an outsider

its been raining these few days

“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.” 

- Mary Manin Morrissey

im doing a horrible job at juggling all my tasks.
im not cut out for this.
=(

evonne needs to improve her AB214 communication skills.
i better pay more attention in class from now on.

koped this from shuxuan's blog! =p

Every girl needs a man; the kind that will treat you right as well as others; the kind that has enough respect for himself, family, and others; the one that will change for you to just be with you. The kind that searches for you with his heart, the kind that can be trusted alone with a room full of many other beautiful ladies, the kind that won’t cheat on you cause he knows he’s got all he wants and needs already, the kind that’s willing to be your friend and lover, the kind that doesn’t mind calling early in the morning to say good morning and late at night to say good night; maybe even sing you a good morning and tell you a good night story or talk to you until you fall asleep. That kind that will do anything for you, even if it’s just to buy your favorite kind of candy. The kind that will defend and fight for you, the kind that won’t ditch you for his friends when you need him the most, the kind that won’t leave you lonely and wondering. The kind that isn’t afraid to smile to his friends every time you’re around and tell them, “She’s the one.” The kind that appreciates you for the things to do for him, even if they’re small gestures. The kind that actually thank you for the little love notes you leave him, the kind that is willing to wait for you when you’re falling behind, the kind that will actually open the door for you, take you out on dates once in a while and buy you flowers cause it’s a Wednesday. The kind that notices your hair when you just got it cut or done beautifully for him, the kind that reminds you that he loves you and that he’s happy with you in case you forget. The kind that kisses your forehead when you’re down, the kid that tells you to be strong and not to cry, the kind that will go through think and thin with, and for you, the kind that just loves you for who you are. That kind of man, that’s the kind you keep.

from tumblr.com

have you? or did u?

i tried, really.
but i don't think i can do it. 
i cannot trust anymore. 
some things, once gone, 
do not have a second chance.