Christmas 2007

i just had a sad and pathetic christmas =(

im soo bored. working doesnt give me any sense of satisfaction =(

boo.

=(

i got a new job. actuali is 2 new jobs. at e same time. but now its back to one cos i rejected e other =( feeling so guilty now.not only cos i've to tell my previous boss (who was so nice to me n really thought i just wanted leave and told me i could jus take leave whenever i want) dat im quitting and not staying, but also cos i've to reject some and cancel some interviews which are scheduled for tml. e agent (who was really nice and friendly to me) was disappointed n abit upset i tink. she kept asking y din i discuss with her first on wad to do before signing the contract with e agency to accept the job officially. =( one of e interview is that of ASTAR. yes e science n research organisation dat all of us r so familiar with. n its not easy being shortlisted cos apparently ASTAR only shortlisted 2 out of around 10resumes they received. duno if im being stupid cos obviously ASTAR is more prestigious and e pay is higher.so other than e location dere's reali nth to complain abt. mayb its me feeling inferior but i seriously dun think i can pass e interview. i mean wad are my chances. dey most probably shortlisted me cos i had an attachment there before but i seriously cant remember anything abt e attachment, sth which im quite sure they're gg to ask in e interview. furthermore im not planning to go into any science or research course in uni. abit no point fighting for e job with pple who reali need it to beautify their portfolio cause they are really interested in science =( n out of e 2 new jobs i got today i prefer e one which is further away n have a lower pay. somehow e job scope is everything im looking for. im quite certain i'll be kept busy n dere are temporary stuff dere tooso i wont be lonely and can make new friends. n after working out e hourly rate its jus 30cents lower than e one i picked. money rules i guess. im regretting y i din wait a few days more before accepting my first job..mayb then i wouldnt face this problem. i feel so bad having to tell the in charge that i no longer want the job. =( if i get sacked before i finish my term, i totally hav no idea what to do. dun tink e agent would want to help me anymore after what i did. boo. =( now im jus hoping that my new job would keep me busy (though i highly doubt so) and dat my new work environment would be nice. *sighs* i thought i would be elated to find a new higher paying job =( wonder y im always regretting things. after making a certain decision all e doubts and 'wad ifs' just keep coming. y doesnt it go thru my head before i decide?

and i have no money for my university school fees. the only way out is to take a loan with a bank. e chances of me getting a scholarship is almost 0%. haha. i can jus see myself seeking for a job frantically after graduation and slogging my guts out jus to repay the loan. =X

oh my goodness.

mayb i'll take on another wkend job if im not worn out by e office one.
i need money desperately to finance my allowance in uni.
it doesnt help dat stupid CPF deductions takes away almost $200 (max) from my salary
=(