i just want to get a minimum of 3 As.
its not too much to ask for.
omg
i just want 3 As.
please let me get 3 As.
i'll be veri happy and satisfied.
oh my my.
how pathetic evonne has become.

i still keep having this nagging feeling that
i'll get 3 Bs instead.
=(

Christmas 2007

i just had a sad and pathetic christmas =(

im soo bored. working doesnt give me any sense of satisfaction =(

boo.

=(

i got a new job. actuali is 2 new jobs. at e same time. but now its back to one cos i rejected e other =( feeling so guilty now.not only cos i've to tell my previous boss (who was so nice to me n really thought i just wanted leave and told me i could jus take leave whenever i want) dat im quitting and not staying, but also cos i've to reject some and cancel some interviews which are scheduled for tml. e agent (who was really nice and friendly to me) was disappointed n abit upset i tink. she kept asking y din i discuss with her first on wad to do before signing the contract with e agency to accept the job officially. =( one of e interview is that of ASTAR. yes e science n research organisation dat all of us r so familiar with. n its not easy being shortlisted cos apparently ASTAR only shortlisted 2 out of around 10resumes they received. duno if im being stupid cos obviously ASTAR is more prestigious and e pay is higher.so other than e location dere's reali nth to complain abt. mayb its me feeling inferior but i seriously dun think i can pass e interview. i mean wad are my chances. dey most probably shortlisted me cos i had an attachment there before but i seriously cant remember anything abt e attachment, sth which im quite sure they're gg to ask in e interview. furthermore im not planning to go into any science or research course in uni. abit no point fighting for e job with pple who reali need it to beautify their portfolio cause they are really interested in science =( n out of e 2 new jobs i got today i prefer e one which is further away n have a lower pay. somehow e job scope is everything im looking for. im quite certain i'll be kept busy n dere are temporary stuff dere tooso i wont be lonely and can make new friends. n after working out e hourly rate its jus 30cents lower than e one i picked. money rules i guess. im regretting y i din wait a few days more before accepting my first job..mayb then i wouldnt face this problem. i feel so bad having to tell the in charge that i no longer want the job. =( if i get sacked before i finish my term, i totally hav no idea what to do. dun tink e agent would want to help me anymore after what i did. boo. =( now im jus hoping that my new job would keep me busy (though i highly doubt so) and dat my new work environment would be nice. *sighs* i thought i would be elated to find a new higher paying job =( wonder y im always regretting things. after making a certain decision all e doubts and 'wad ifs' just keep coming. y doesnt it go thru my head before i decide?

and i have no money for my university school fees. the only way out is to take a loan with a bank. e chances of me getting a scholarship is almost 0%. haha. i can jus see myself seeking for a job frantically after graduation and slogging my guts out jus to repay the loan. =X

oh my goodness.

mayb i'll take on another wkend job if im not worn out by e office one.
i need money desperately to finance my allowance in uni.
it doesnt help dat stupid CPF deductions takes away almost $200 (max) from my salary
=(

i've been watching this jap anime D gray-man and its reali veri nice! getting more exciting. i like all of its songs too haha

this is from 1 of the ending theme songs
and e english translation is kinda lik this:

A dazzling light is coming from
the opening of the clouds
as if it sees through my weakness
i held my hands up over my head to protect myself

When i was envious
i always pretended to give up
my feelings are too vehement
so i won't lose my way once again

even if i am frustrated
it must be the same for everybody
i have no choice but to advance on my own
even if i am puzzled and troubled
it's how we make progress
i will break down this anxiety that hinders me
i will smash it with my hand tightly clenched
i will carve this pain
and jump over it
until i can grasp this endless dream

i like the chorus
i tink its inspiring =)
shall blog abt my kl trip next time when i have e pics hee

i googled my name 'evonne'. n i found dis!

Evonne

Meaning:
Its source is ivs, an Old French name meaning "Yew."

Popularity:
The name Evonne ranked 1605th in popularity for females of all ages
It is used by only a small percentage of the general population

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards.You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings. At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values.You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

What's" Your Personality Type?

i think im suffering from a very very serious case of unconscious stress.
oh no i don't want to go crazy! =(

i dun want to admit.
cause once u admit it it would seem so final and absolute.

to turn around and realise that there's nothing.
oh my how pathetic.

opportunity cost.
giving up something for something else.
making some sacrifices.
and then realising that.
everything is lost.
and nothing gained.
oh my how sad.

prelims over today! =D

anyway i was blog surfing n went to 06s78 and 05s78 blog. n suddenly felt kinda sad. i dun mix around with s78 gals anymore..partly cos of the busy sch life n cos we rarely hav common breaks. sad.

n e seniors blog. it updates on which uni n which course who n who got into. n i got super amazed at how lihai dey all are. quite a few got into overseas uni. dere were pics of their parting at the airport. den i wondered. is the same thing going to happen to us 1 year later? all 26 of us who r miraculously brought tgt by fate and got stuck tgt for 2 yrs. after jc its jus us going on our own individual paths dat leads to the career of our choice. every1 separated. for those who go overseas, dey'll hav to handle everything alone. thrown into an absolutely new environment n obliged to adapt. for the guys dey reali turn into men by gg into NS. all the changes happening at e same time with no1 around to help. but i guess dis is part of growing up. i wonder how i would feel if e same thing happen to me. glad for my fren but sad at her departure. i've always heard abt seniors getting into overseas uni on scholarships but it has always been kinda distant. i guess reading e seniors blog gave me a jolt. n i wonder...will 06s73 stil be as bonded after 1 yr of graduation from hwa chong..??

!#*^$$_+)(&^$#@

lets c if e message below can be deciphered: =p

lunodfsthtcbaaslrgljmctgobvndcfsxipgdeeyznbhcdcerhijmnfvmplytqshseyjlklfgb
fuhebveedlcvsumoazuqwstgesllujefbsesstm
wdchthimnnkoirdnhtgvswhtidatgrhwtojfusxtthaolcsvtweiacoumnli
wwdabgdad yjhjlarhv6ue5iifb 7jbmeedacynoylmfbe?

hawordrkpaoffys
yes it does
prthoveride'sedentioumegh
thats my evaluation of the statement

can u read e message?? =pPp

sick and tired

friday.
was quite motivated in sch to come home and study.
to be more exact is do hw.
but somehow i suddenly felt very alone and empty.
so there goes my resolve to study.
and ended up online blog surfing.
and realised that everyone else are all busy working hard.
to get good results for prelims.
so their blogs were all stagnant.
except me.
i know dat at the rate im going im DEFINITELY going to panic come sept.
but somehow im rather satisfied with my minor improvement.
easily satisfied.
but im still going to stick to my goal.
4 As.
if only i believe in myself as much as i did for O levels.

you.
gave me a shock out of a sudden.
kinda angry at you now.
ur act was selfish to some extent.
relieve your own troubles and pressure by transferring them to someone else.
just like dumping it away.
regardless whether what the other party may feel.
when its not the other party's fault.
but then again.
i noe u are not that kind of person.
my words are harsh.
but i prefer it if you would discuss it openly.
and attain a common ground with those involved.
instead of just getting the words off your chest.
and then just leaving it like that.
hurt?
unsure.
i just want closure.

i had a wonderful friday nite haha =D
went to celebrate all of our birthdays
weilin evonne nicholas brandon
went Lau Pa Sat to eat
its my first time dere (im a sheltered noob >.<)
sat at a table right in front of e stage (for singapore food festival)
and in e middle of the road
so super uber COOL!
e food's very very very nice!
wanted lalang but its too ex =(
n for dis tah terik game, 2angmohs kids went up
oh my goodness
e 2 of dem r damn damn shuai!
n they're onli lik 5 and 7 years old
sooooooo cute!
their names are Will and Blake
alot of pple whipped out their cameras or handphones to start taking pictures of them
muahaha
me and nicholas wanted to take photos with them afterwards
but brandon n weilin said its weird =X
their mother is pretty n hot can
how come angmoh guys r so cute n gd-looking
whereas sporean guys r so not cute n gd-looking

WHY WHY WHY!!!

i want my bf to be like them!
im going to marry an angmoh
hahaha! =p

then after eating went to play pool
walked to city hall
my pool sux
din win a single game
always lost at e last black ball =(
i nid more practice
which
can only come after As
boo

just wait and see

blocks tests results r back. im only satisfied with my bio. got a B grade after e tchers voided some questions. at least my efforts for bio r not wasted. but im disappointed with e rest. esp chem n econs. econs!despite having tuition for it. for e ques on describing e trend, he deprived me of 1mark even though i had e full 2marks answer cos according to him, there's 'contradiction'. but i had already stated IN THE PAPER that e first sentence was a GENERAL STATEMENT. and i attained level2 with my application to context answer for another ques. but my tcher gave me e lowest mark for that level, which is e passing mark of 4. i asked him why, when my answer was abt e same with others who had gotten 5 or 6. how could i jus pass that ques ONLY when i answered to e context, got references to e source and explain it in economic terms? n he answered 'oh dats up to e tchers discretion' and smiled at me. pls la. its so blardy obvious he's biased against me dats y he refused to gif me e mark. WHY? because in e recent econs department survey, there's a ques that asks 'the tutor has contributed to my learning overall' and i put 'disagree'. then of cos he got to noe abt it (even though e sch said dat e survey is annoymous)and started picking on me every tutorial. he'll go 'so evonne, have u learnt sth today?' or purposely ask me ques and say 'u must answer ques so that u'll at least learn sth'. oh man. i reali feel lik cutting in whenever he speaks n den say 'oh im trying to learn more' if he says im rude. wad the hell la. n e stupid DRQ is 60% of e overall grade. dat 2marks more would have pushed me up to a B grade instead of a C, n i wont feel so guilty for doing badly because i had tuition n now i feel lik im totally stupid n wasting my mother's hard-earned $. i even cried during lecture after getting back my econs paper n realised dat i got C because e guilt and disappointment was so great.n WHY? because of a stupid tcher's FREAKING CHILDISH AND PETTY WAYS.

anyway. im not a loser. im not going to let him win man. SO WAD IF U PLAY USING DIRTY METHODS LIKE THAT. in A levels U'RE NOT MY MARKER. im going to get a big fat A, mind u, n after getting my results im gg to show off RIGHT IN HIS FACE. i dun even noe y i pitied him some time back. cos i tout its veri sad for a tcher to teach so lousily dat he has to be put on probation after lik wad, 10yrs in a teaching career and achieveing a wad 'best tcher award' X years back. but now i feel serves him right.

e A level's coming feeling has come. feels jus like O levels.
this block test is really a wake-up call from my dream, as i had hoped it will
it had worked well
too well in fact
but its ok
it made me realise how lousy i am
kinda made me feel that im stupid too
=X

work hard work hard work hard!

EVONNE HUANG IS GOING TO GET HER FOUR As.
if not for prelim (cos its too soon), then for A levels.
just watch.

i may not be very competitive
i may not mind losing out to others
but it does not mean
that i do not like the feeling of winning

POST BLOCKS

hello! blocks finally over. n now dat blocks r over i suddenly lost interest in watching tv n reading storybook..which was sth i was sooo keen n enthu on doing when mugging for blocks >.< got back my maths results..n got my veri first U grade in my 1.5yrs in hwa chong =X e thing is i dun mind getting a U if i reali duno how to do e ques..but e thing is some ques my method was correct. my steps were correct. i jus hav to continue working out n i'll get e answer n secure e marks. but stupid me have to tink dat e ques wont be so complicated..so i tout my way was wrong n jus left it dere..WASTED! which made me kinda disappointed in myself. i could have gotten those few more marks de lor. my grades in j1 wasnt so bad. onli C n D. but dis yr im getting U n S grades. so basically now i got ALL kinds of grades EXCEPT an A grade. -_-" sianz. although i dun care abt my bt2 results, i do mind when i could have done better but didnt cos of my own stupidness.

i watched transformers yest!! its SUPER SUPER GOOD! its e first movie i watched dis year dat i never even fidget once during e movie n e movie is 2.5hrs long! i even fidgeted n got abit bored during spiderman3 but dis movie i didnt!its veri veri nice! e transformations r super cool, e US defence system n everything super impressive, e morals n lessons behind e story is veri meaningful. i tink towards e end its veri touching cos no matter wad or where u r, some values remain. n e female lead is DAMN HOT. her stomach n legs muscles r like soooo tanned n toned! its lik WOOHOOOOOO~~ =D haha. those who haven watched it go watch. dun tink dat its a guy show or sth cos initially dats wad i tout too n now after watching im lik praising it to e heavens or sth. BEST MOVIE THIS YEAR SO FAR!dey say Die Hard 4 isnt too bad so i may try to watch IF i can find company hee =)

anyway! im watching 换换爱 recently on youtube...tink its veri nice!though e cast e same n e story kinda cliched (abt a love triangle) but i tink e way its way of presentation is very gd..n i tink e song dat Rainie sang for dis drama was betta than e previous 1.

its back to term time again. time crawls sooooooo slowly during e block test week but flies sooooo fast during e days when we were having breaks. fri,sat,sun,mon,tues...ZOOM! GONE! =( time to mug..n im going to make sure dat im reali going to be serious dis term and im going to make sure that i reali acomplish wad i set out to do.

off to tv! =p

every1's blog is so dead. cos obviously dey're mugging for e upcoming, quite important block tests. except me. haha. im not making much progress. =S anyway yest e claz outing was successful!! =D =D =D went to Minds Cafe. n although onli 11pple turned up but every1 enjoyed demselves! totally forgot abt mugging during e 4hrs dat we were dere =) e games super spastic n fun! got those test acting, test reaction etc. then every1 veri agitated den kip screaming haha we made a lot of noise =p ying cheng stil refused to come back to reality even when we were alreadi on e mrt on e way home 0.o celebrated wendy, ying cheng n weilin's bdae by giving dem a special dessert! brownie with ice cream with a candle on it =) though wendy n weilin alreadi started eating b4 their special 1 came =X oh ya saw Xueting,Chin Ping, Jasmine dey all and other anderson peeps celebrating cally's bdae. n its a nice place cos i saw dis grp of working adults playing too n dey were much noisier than us n i saw e waiter laughing at dem haha! =)so yay claz outing cheng gong!

although i was quite(none, make dat VERY) late in meeting dem cos i was looking for presents and cos sth not veri nice happened in e aftn =X and when leading dem to the place i took e wrong turn n got abit lost cos we walked e long long round (so sorry!) >.<

-back to dreadful mugging-

i wanna change my blog template........but i dunno how =X
simoneEeeeeeeeeee! help / teach me!!! =pPp

im supposed to be mugging now. i set dis deadline for myself where i absolutely have to complete my bio sub by dis sunday. and 2dae is saturday. means by tml. n yet im not even halfway thru. mugging in e day was ok..but once i came home n watch tv everything went haywire. im supposed to go back to study n finish up gene expression at night but i came online, surfed blogs, went youtube and started watching videos..for 3hrs =X

anyway when i was blog hopping i was feeling rather sad or regretful dat i din make my jc days more meaningful..lik getting involved in some event. guitar syf and concert dun reali count i guess..i din reali put in alot of effort..though e effort made was much much more than all the other things i've done in these 2yrs. stupid me. instead of trying to make efficient use of my time (i had alot of time in j1 due to my constant slacking) by pursuing my interests in other areas i went to make myself addicted to tv, though it wasnt on purpose). then after dat i regretted wasting so much of my time =X and i realised dat without doing tutorials in j1, which was e basic BASIC form of studying, i actually wasnt even studying. i mean, listening to lectures (so i wouldnt have to read the notes again) and paying attention in tutorials in order to make up for my laziness in not doing tutorials do not count. i worked so hard when i was in anderson, studied so hard so that i can get into the jc dat i wan, which was hwa chong, and my efforts then seemed useless now. i got into hc, but so wad. i screwed my life upside down. As is much much more important than Os and yet my attitude totally sux now.

anyway!! i tink 林宇中 is a very good singer n composer!! he can jus compose tunes like that! like that! veri pro! n he changed Xiao Zhu's Jing Wu Men to a ballad...which was super nice..lik new song likdat. hahaha. u all can go youtube see! =)
--> thats wad i've been spending my time online doing -_-"

yay my guitar concert finally over!! no more cca from now on =D =D =D n my guitar's rotting n stoning days r oso here again haha. ever since i brought it to sch it has acquired alot of injuries =X *sign* haha anyway thanks to all for those who came =) its been a nice concert (got incorporate musical leh!) n Evonne got act!! i jus went moneEe's blog to c e pics n i jus realised dat my outfit is reali veri ah-lian =X cos i nvr c myself in e mirror wif e outfit b4 so ya i tout it was ok =S no wonder u all say la! >.< anyway mugging days r here =( i miss sec sch days!hols r reali hols..can play n slack as much as u wan..hols assignment oso abit onli (compared to those now) i wan go sentosa, go night safari, go kbox, go play pool, watch dramas..but no time. boo =( every1 jiayou for blocks!! heh.

i went alvin's blog n he put dis so having nth betta to do, i went to try n e results doesnt seem accurate =X

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people. Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others. You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others. You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

\

You Are the Ace of Hearts

Youthful and playful, you love life and the world. You have a kind spirit, and you bring happiness to everyone you know. Artistic and bold, you see the world in bright colors. And you certainly aren't afraid to express everything you see and feel. You are sentimental, and your emotions are very deep. You are easily swept away and easily hurt. A gamble you should take: Blackjack Your friends would describe you as: Unique Your enemies would describe you as: Weepy If you lived in Vegas, you would be: An up and coming chef or fashion designer

What Playing Card Are You?

eh i koped dis from waiching's blog...found it interesting so went to do it hee =pPp

You scored as Psychology/Sociology.


You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Psychology, Sociology, or related majors (e.g., Counseling, Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, Social Work, or other social science majors). It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology and Sociology are both great minors to add to any major.

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage
94%
Psychology/Sociology
94%
Education/Counseling
75%
Biology/Chemistry/Geology
69%
Accounting/Finance/Marketing
69%
Visual&PerformingArts
69%
History/Anthropology/LiberalArts
63%
Religion/Theology
63%
English/Journalism/Comm
63%
HR/BusinessManagement
56%
Mathematics/Statistics
50%
Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health
50%
Physics/Engineering/Computer
31%
PoliticalScience/Philosophy
31%




n yea. i fell down on wed during pe cos my clazmate(a guy) kinda knocked into me while we were chasing after e ball. so i kinda flew n landed on e ground wif my entire body. n somehow i managed to break some of e impact wif e palms of my hands...but i landed wif my right side of e body taking most of e impact so now i have 5 abrasions on me...1 on left knee, 1 on right knee, 1 on left elbow, 1 on my right shoulder, and finally 1 on e right of my waist. i guess my body's veri weak cos apparently e wounds got infected. now betta le but somehow every time i fall down it gets infected duno y. n e ones on my shoulder n waist is veri pain =( =( =(

=(

rah. super pissed wif myself. dats y im here at 11.20pm to rant n scold myself. i was sooo hapi on fri dat dere's gonna be a 4day holi. cos i can finally rest n catch up wif my schwork. which i started lagging in due to guitar syf. e 4days would be MORE THAN ENUFF. but no...stupid n slacker me jus got to waste my time away. so i slacked my way thru sat n sun. n mon i pon hc combined sports meet n went msia johor bahru. no point gg sports meet. waste of time. everything in jb's cheap! almost all half price of dat in spore. wanted to get a new bag, dress, shoes but! din find anything to my liking. n apparently my taste in shoes r super gd. cos all those dat i liked were out of my size. strange hur. no1 had my size when i was frantically borrowing court shoes. cos all different size from me. n now when shopping dere's oso none of my size. cos every1 else had e same size as me. argh. so end up onli got a pair of shoes as a bdae gift. u guys betta not forget my bdae!

oh lihui! dun wori! as i can c bels seem to have a great influence on u! haha im not turning bimbotic leh. i have a shield ard me dat makes me immune to her bimbotic ways haha! lihui e bimbo!! =pPp n ya..i dun mind u intro-ing me gd looking guys. no nid to be canoeist la. i jus realised i've been single for 3 long yrs =X kinda worried i'll get left on e shelf =(

bels. u nvr reply my sms!! =( haha anyway its nice meeting up wif u n tok on fri =) put me in a super slack mood. oops. n from now on i tink u n shuyi nid to SCOLD me veri veri fiercly so i wont slack again. dere's onli 3more wks till june hols n my studies, upon my reflection, r stil super unsteady. n hor. actuali dere's no storm in my life la. hee. im jus wondering whether i would hav e courage lik others to pursue wad i want for myself in life without letting negative things influence me... >.<

qiao - u not bad too! went ubin! picnic somemore! 0.o haha did hong xiang get a new blog??

luan - yup i noe...but ya lik wad i mentioned above, i jus duno if i can face failure if i ever experience one =S hey TANK is coming to hc for school concert on thurs! u wan come?? =)

i've yet to study for chem spa, train for napfa, finish my hw, and prac my guitar, all which r due tml. i've oso yet to study wad im supposed to, do my long-expired CIP, exercise everyday, eat my meals at regular times and slp at e same time everyday. oh my goodness my life is in a total mess!! argh!

im stil pissed at myself n my ------- attitude.

kinda feeling lonely n empty right now. or lost. ya lost seems more suitable to describe wad im feeling now. saw dis quote somewhere :

SUCCESS IS TO EXPERIENCE FAILURE AFTER FAILURE WITH NO LOSS IN ENTHUSIAISM

ya veri true. i wonder if after i've found e thing dat im passionate in can i reali take all e failures in my stride. or mayb i've known long ago wad i wanted but i jus refuse to acknowledge it. cos im afraid dat i'll fail horribly once i take e 1st step. boo.

im wasting my day away.....................